Thinking Caps On My Fellow Pupils of the World

Today is a INTELLECTUAL LESSON granted possible by our almighty lord. I don't care who that almighty being may be for you, but personally mine is ME. Obviously. There's not even any room for negotiations.



All hail before my divine power.

I am being ESPECIALLY omniscient today.

The optimist says the glass is half full.

The pessimist says the glass is half empty.

The rationalist says the glass is twice as big as it need to be.

That makes it as clear as glass.

Now we must be civilized and rational human beings, writing in proper sentences with proper grammar and sentence structures, and spelling in all its properness...

RAANDDOOOM TIME!!!

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"It's a bit embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

Meta physicians have always been confounded by the concept of infinity, but non meta-physicians have been less impressed.

      Two cows are standing in a pasture. One turns to the other and says, "Although pi is often abbreviated to five numbers, it actually goes onto infinity.

      The second cow turns to the first and says, "Moo." 

Here's another joke.


     A woman is told by her doctor that she has 6 months to live. "Is there anything I can do?" she asks.

     "Yes there is," the doctor replies. "You could marry a tax accountant."

     "How will that help me with my illness?" the woman asks.

     "Oh, it won't help your illness. But it will make that six months seem like an eternity!"

You may be wondering the following question, "How could something finite, like six months, possibly be analogous to something infinite, like eternity?"

Those who ask that question have never lived with a tax accountant.

I believe in the principle of Parsimony. Theories should not be any more complex than necessary. Or, put metaphysically, theories should not "multiply entities unnecessarily."


     Suppose Isaac Newton had watched the apple fall and exclaimed, "I've got it! Apples are being caught in a tug of war between gremlins pulling them up, and trolls pulling them down, and the trolls are winning!!"

     In the perfect world of Parsimony, we would have retorted, "Okay Isaac, so your theory does account for all observable facts, but get with the program man---- keep it simple!"

People these days are so used to getting what they want, that they expect everyone to immediately know what they are asking for. However. If you actually take the time to think their questions over, often, they are missing the key point.
    
     For example, let us assume that we had just had a conversation. 

You: I ask you one simple answer, and you give me ten different answers. It's not exactly helpful.

Me: If it's help you want, go see a social worker. I heard they've got loads of them in Sparta.

You: Hmm. Well. Care to tell me which one of the answers is true?

Me: Ahhha! Now we're getting somewhere..

Do you think you are logical? That everything is composed out of pure logic, because things must happen in certain way because it is simply logic? Well Athenian logic is messed up, I'll tell ya that.

     Holmes and Watson are on a camping trip. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes up and gives Dr.Watson a nudge.

     "Watson, look up in the sky and tell me what you see."

     "I see millions of stars, Holmes."

     "And what do you conclude from that, Watson?"

      Watson thinks for a moment. "Well," he says, "astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I see that God is all-powerful, and we are small and insignificant. Uh, what does it tell you Holmes?"

      "Watson you idiot! Someone has stolen our tent!"

You gotta love this one :D

Farewell dear pupils. We shall embark on the journey of life once again. Adios.